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Late Night Data Entry

I  not-so fondly remember my first job in the corporate world.

I showed up early, eager to get at it.   I arrived at a semi-skyscraper of about 15 floors and after buzzing for entry, at a brightly lit door with a security camera, the door was opened and I proceeded down a hall and into my first view of a fully cubicle’d floor. 

To elaborate… an entire open floor wide and approx 2 floors to the ceiling with nothing but row after row of cubicles, identical, like some Apple commercial gone steroidal.  If you’ve never seen an entire floor without walls or dividers then I must add that you can take 10 minutes to traverse one side to another.

Since this was an “all night” job most of the rows were dark.  We proceeded quietly and somewhat grudgingly towards a small lit area almost in the exact middle, it was the only lit cove in a sea of black and grey dividers.  The employee that I followed had his head hung and a slight arch in his back, as if he had been carrying a heavy weight all day and it was all he could do to move forward.  He greeted me with not so much as a nod of his head at the door and proceeded forward, waving his arm behind him for me to follow.

We arrived at the lit desk.  A recessed model where the keyboard and monitor were actually inside the desk and at an angle back.  I quickly mounted my erogomic steed, ready to ride it out.   After gaining minor instruction on how to access the system and where to store the data the employee pointed at about 30 stacks of boxes.  Each box was at least double the size of a bankers box.  To the side of my station was one of the contents of that box, a green and white striped stack of 20 inch wide track fed printer paper.  Now if you don’t know what that is, it’s a continous piece of paper with little holes on both sides.   Each side (of holes) is perforated so you can tear it off and each page is perforated so that it can be separated and the pages are covered in green stripes and dot matrix black text.  My instructions were to reach in the box, tear off about 2 inches of the paper and type in the data that appeared on each page, line by line and then rinse and repeat.

The employee informed me that I would be locked in, that I was the only person here… and he would be back in the morning to relieve me.  He nonchalantly pointed out the exits in case of emergency and the bathroom then turned on his heel and proceeded back down the long row of cubicles and disappeared into the darkness.

Being young and eager and mostly ignorant I embraced this task with great joy and set off to set a new typing record.  The first hour I burned through the entire 2 inches sitting in front of me… I was a little bit disillusioned I realized I would barely be through a box in one night!

I was curious to know exactly how far these boxes were stacked and so I made as if going to the bathroom (although I was alone) and peered into the darkness of the adjacent rows as I marched by.  To my surprise they too were filled with boxes.

Lunch time could not come too soon.  About half and hour early hunger struck me and my words per minute plummeted.  Even though I worked feverishly typing 100′ of words-per-minute I was only halfway through a box, this was unreal, so slow and tedious… as if it might actually take longer than my life was long to finish the task.

As I walked toward the bathroom eating my sandwhich I quickly realized I was staggering sightly due to the fact that I could see green striped lightly overlayed over everything in my vision.  Yes, I had been staring at that green screen and green paper so long I could see the pattern, like a watermark, on everything in front of my eyes.  I waved my head back like Stevie Wonder and enjoyed the colors.

2 hours after lunch I reached a command decision (6 hours and almost 1 box into the early morning).  This was not for me.  Sure I typed over 120wpm and yes I needed a job but something about working, alone, in that massive dark space, doing the same task over and over and the fact that now everything I looked at had a solid green stripe in the middle… no, my limit had been reached.

I was not spending my life as a drone.

I logged out of my station and left a kind note on the back of one the green bar printouts that said, “Thank You very much for the opportunity and I apologize for leaving early but my real life is calling me. – Alan”.

 

Posted in Computers, Funny Stuff, Mi Vida Loca.


Blogosphere

As our world conforms to the electronic age and we all become wired in to the Internet… I find myself rejecting using the computer any more than I absolutely have to. Now mind you, I have programmed computers since 1982 and will continue to.

I guess the real problem is there are many things I do NOT wish to see or know and definitely not to read… the Blogoshpere is everyone’s dirty laundry to air and mind you, I do NOT like the smell. 

I have no interest in your recent band cover or your dancing baby and I certainly do not want to read your half-baked opinions on subjects you aren’t qualified to discuss.

This blog (the one you are reading now) was just a personal rant and experiment in this new society and cultural tool… and to be honest again… it seems to have very little redeemable value other than to kill time I could be spending on more positive outlets.

So… to follow the “if you cannot say something nice” rule I must note that I have recently read blogs by my brother-in-law and sister and I find them to be everything from saddening to amazingly insightful… so even though I find the “sphere” a little guttural and disturbing, I also find that it allows me to peer inside those that I thought I knew and learn more about them.

Feel free to check out Josh’s blog at http://a2jbigdaddy.wordpress.com/ He is my brother in law and one of the finest human beings I have ever met. You know, one of those people that you think, “now what would he do in this situation” and then you try to emulate that…

Posted in Blog me, Computers.

Tagged with .


How to Delete Windows Updates that have not yet run.

There are many reasons that you might want to delete updates that have not yet run.  You could be stuck in a loop where an update continuously fails or you could have been corrupted during download and just refuses to install.  No matter your reason, here are the instructions…

1. Open Start >> Run or press window key + r

2. Type “services.msc” (without quotes) and Click OK , this will open services window.

3. Right click on Automatic Updates Service and select Stop.

4. After the service is stopped, press window key + r

5. Type “%windir%\SoftwareDistribution” (without quotes) and press enter.

6. Open the Download folder and delete all contents of the Download folder.

7. Close the window, press Window Key + r ( or Open Start >> Run )

8. Type “services.msc” (without quotes) and Click OK

9. Right click on Automatic Updates Service and select Start.

10. That’s it Done

Posted in Computers, Tips & Tricks, Windows XP Tech Issues.


XP How To Change a Default Program

A default program opens when you Double Click on a file… (ie: movie, photo, document,etc…)

For example, if you double click on an mp3 music file your Itunes opens or Windows Media Player. (or whatever your default program is)

The link on the line below is Microsoft’s instructions for handling this issue within Windows XP.  Vista and 7 blurb upcoming.
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/307859

Allow me to simplify, if necessary.

Any icon, that is not a .com, .bat or .exe, will have a Right Click option called Open With

1. Go to the movie file that you want to open  (or document, photo, etc…)

2. Right Click on the icon

3. Go on down the option list until you see Open With (see image below), then to the right you will see a small arrow pointing right, this indicates a menu of choices is available for the Open With Option, move your mouse pointer over Open With.

4. Left Click on the Choose Program option, at the bottom of the far right menu.

(see example below)

5.  Now pick the program that you want to open that type of file by default (see image below).

6.  DON’T FORGET to check the box that states “always use this program to open this kind of file”.  That’s it!  Click OK and test it out.

Posted in Computers, Tips & Tricks, Windows XP Tech Issues.


Operating System Not Found No Boot Sector Windows XP

When starting your computer their are a variety of messages that can display, depending on the software that starts your computer and looks for your Operating System.  (usually happens whilst you stare at a Logo, be it DELL or whatever manufacturer you use.  IBM for myself.)

Don’t be fooled or sold short by those that cannot fix this error.

There are several simple steps by which you can recover from and resolved this error.  When you have done so, check your System Logs (Event Viewer, Admin Tools, Control Panel) and make sure that your hard drive does not have bad blocks.

This error can and has occurred, many times, when there is nothing wrong with the hard drive.

Refer to the following Microsoft article as how to boot your computer to the Recovery Console.  From their, you can login and run FIXBOOT or FIXMBR to restore your boot sector.  Read the description of each program and what is does for you, before you use it.

This article is for medium to advanced computer operators:  http://support.microsoft.com/kb/314058

 

Posted in Computers, Windows XP Tech Issues.


Energy from Trash

We all remember the movie, Back to the Future… Doc and his DeLorean come crashing into the trash cans, Doc is dressed very oddly, with silver sunglasses and a “Mr. Fusion” on the DeLorean motor in which he feeds banana peels, eggs and metal for power.

The Army is using a “bio-refinery” that reclaims 90% more energy than it consumes (10% of the total gets used to run the processes), recycling & fermenting organic waste and vaporizing everything else. The machine separates the trash into two categories and begins the process which takes hours.

From this they get fuel and although it can vary it can be mixed and fed into a generator and converted into electrical energy. From trash to fuel.

It is my understanding that the process by which they vaporize the plastics, etc. produces a sludge but… eh, wasn’t it already trash… it is just smaller and rolls downhill now, put it in a bucket.

The 1 million dollar price tag and the possibility that this tech is contained under military classification are currently prohibitive… but we can taste it, it will come and soon.

Imagine your local dump… an energy station, producing fuel and reclaiming energy and waste.

 

Courtesy Photo of bio-refinery:

Posted in Eco Friendly - Reusable, Energy, Environmental Issues.

Tagged with .


Chef Sharon

We are pleased to announce the debut of the new “cooking queen”, Chef Sharon released the pilot of her sure to be a hit show. Watch out Rachel Ray.

This, of course, is with no bias even though I love my nieces very much and am thrilled to get to see them on video.

www.chef-sharon.blogspot.com

Posted in Good Living.

Tagged with .


The Electric Wagon

When I was about 8 years old my grandfather passed on to me one of the coolest gadgets I have ever laid my eyes on.  An electric-mechanical calculator.  This was built before chips and LED’s mind you.  Completely mechanical and capable of performing any type of mathematical calculation into the trillions.

To paint the picture, it looked very much like a large typewriter, rows of keys on the left painted 0 through 9 (about 10 columns of 10 round buttons) on the right was 3 columns of mathematical symbols, you know the + the – the * and many others I would learn to identify later in life however unwittingly during calculus and such… and on the top was a large carriage with the result wheels… little square holes (about 50 of them in 4 different sections) with wheels that had 0 through 9 painted on them.  electrical mechanical calculator

So, if you pushed the 1 button and then the + button… it would take off like a robot golem “ching, chang, ching…” and a 1 would appear on the carriage above as it moved back and forth… then if you were to push another 1 (for example) and then = it would perform a myriad of chings and changs and wild mechanical jerks and noises and magically the result wheel would end up on the number two.

Being quite fascinated with this mechanical monstrosity, I disassembled it. (I had a Casio calculator watch already)  Inside I was very pleased to find everything was powered with a large AC motor.

I had an idea!  (famous last words)

I immediately removed the motor and the power cord and nailed them to a board that I then wedged in the rear of my red wagon.  I then disassembled a large fan in the garage and cannibalized the fan blades and attached them to the AC motor. (somewhat loosely and not very functionally)

My flying wagon was almost complete!  Excited to be zooming around the neighborhood on my propeller powered wagon I hurried to the garage to acquire the last necessary piece of equipment…

… and I stopped, dead in my tracks, fell to my knees and wept a bitter tear…. as I instantly came to the realization that I would never be able to travel any farther than the length of the extension cord would allow.

Then I had an idea!

I raced into the garage, figured out how to raise the hood in the station wagon and began to look for tools necessary to remove the battery. (not realizing, at this young age, that it would not supply the type of current needed to run the motor without a switching circuit to transform the DC to AC)

My mother came ’round the corner about this time and barked, “whatever you are planning to do with my car young man you can just stop right now!  Come inside for lunch.”

So died the electric wagon before it ever flew an inch.

What I wouldn’t give to have that electro-mechanical calculator today.  What a beautiful piece of nostalgic engineering that would be.

Posted in Mi Vida Loca.


Learning to Fly

I grew up on a dead end street in a moderately sized 2 story home with 4 trees in the front yard and one large tree in the back yard.

Of course, I climbed these trees and one day decided that I would jump from one. 

I acquired a Hefty trash bag (no handles in those days) and proceeded to climb about 30 ft up to the highest branch I could manage.   My plan was to use the 50 gallon trash bag as a parachute.  I skooched my behind towards the edge while holding the Hefty bag firmly with both hands and finally, after much scooting, proceeded to fall.

The bag filled with air with a poof and stopped falling… however my grip was not strong enough to hold on and the bag was torn from my hands and I plummetted to the earth.  Smash!  Knocking the wind out of me.

As I lay on the grassy lawn gasping violently for breath my mother appeared.  The kitchen window overlooked the front yard and she had witnessed the entire debacle.

She attempted to communicate with me amidst her giggling and laughing… “Are you {heeheeeha} ok {hahaha} Alan {ohhahhaha}” … “relax, you just lost your wind”, she quipped between chortles, “you will be ok in a second honey…”.  After she examined me and found nothing broken she laughed her way back inside.

Well, I was determined to improve upon my earlier failure and I immediately grabbed my bike and rode the 1/4 mile to my Grandparents house.  I had an idea!  The large umbrella has a handle (like a shepard’s crook), certainly if I had something to hang on to my plan would work this time!

So back to the tree I was, large umbrella in tow.  I re-positioned myself on the same branch, opened the umbrella… it was almost too large to fit in all the branches but it just did. (fit, that is)  I schooched off the edge again and hung on for dear life.

Unfortunately, the umbrella’s stopping power was nowhere near that of the plastic bag… it immediately folded backwards as I plunged 30 ft to the ground yet again.  Since the umbrella did not slow me as the plastic bag did (even though it seemed like no more than a microsecond) I hit harder this time and was again, gasping violently for breath.

My mother came out again.  This time she was not laughing, she was stomping as mother’s do when they are upset.

She positioned herself above me and looked down at me and said, “Well, I never”, in a very angry tone, “no son of mine is that stupid! Not a second time!  You stay out of the trees young man.” and without checking me for breakage or any other indication of anything but disdain and anger she turned on her heel and stormed across the lawn back into the kitchen.

She didn’t have to tell me that.  I knew it was time to start smaller… “maybe off the roof?…”, I thought.

Posted in Mi Vida Loca.


Trump for President

I just had to put the title out there, “Trump for President”, so I can laugh more and enjoy the thought… lol, as if…

Spicoli for President!

ok not nearly as funny the second time but still good.

Posted in Politics & Beauracracy.




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